Despite the sadness that my trip is over, I have a great time reuniting with friends and family on New Year's Eve.

I’m on a flight to Toronto. I’m going home. Like most events, it seems like yesterday I just left, and yet a lifetime ago. I realize with a quick mental recap that this will be my 20th flight in just under 13 weeks.

I’ve come to the conclusion that traveling the world alone is by the far the most difficult and most amazing thing I have ever done.

There are things I will miss and things I won’t miss. I’ll miss meeting great people, the sheer freedom to roam as I want to, and experiencing crazy and awesome things on a daily basis. I’ll miss blogging and my deep sleeps and the ability to crack open a book whenever I darn well please. Most of what I won’t miss is backpacked related: living out of it, carrying it, or packing it up. But I also won’t miss the stress of getting myself from point A to point B, airports and airplanes, or sleeping in different beds almost every night.

Am I ready to come home? That’s another paradox because the answer is yes and no. I can’t wait to see my friends and family. If I had to resume my old life I would be depressed at the prospect, but really, I can’t help but feel that the adventure is continuing for me. I’m taking off to North Carolina. I’m starting a business. I have a whole new life out there waiting for me, a prospect that both frightens and thrills me.

People ask me if I’ve had any startling realizations out here or if I’ve done any soul searching. That was never my intent, but I would say that yes, I am changed. Perhaps not in big ways like a caterpillar to a butterfly, but in small, subtle ways. I think true, lasting change is gradual anyway.

I could probably blog for days about what I’ve learned and realized and how I’ve grown, but a lot of that is personal. To paraphrase, a lot of it boils down to a few key words: acceptance, letting go, figuring out what I want out of life and what I need to do to make it happen, positive thinking, and shedding the past,

I am extremely lucky and blessed to have had an opportunity to do this, and not a day goes by where I don’t acknowledge that. However, I had lots of help along the way. The number of blog hits I got blew my mind. The comments and personal emails of encouragement I got from friends, family, and sometimes acquaintances helped stave off the inevitable loneliness at times. Special thanks to Darren who took the time to email me every day. Sometimes checking my email or the blog comments at the end of a long journey, tired and wondering why I was in the middle of nowhereville was the only thing that kept my sanity.

I need community. Bottom line. How great to travel the world alone and realize that I was never really alone.

I just looked down at the clock on my computer and an unexpected feeling of excitement grabbed me. In ½ hour I’ll be landing in Canada! In several hours I will get to see my family and friends for New Year’s Eve! Someone will be there for me at the airport! I’ll wear that backpack for the last time! I feel giddy, like a little girl.

They say the best part about going away is coming home. I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s close.